"Allah al akabar...aaallllaaahhhh aaahhahh..ak'bar. Ashhadoo ana laah il lallah ana mohammadan rasul allah," rings through the air, the calm soothing voices echo through the hills and valleys from every mosque in the Middle East calling the people to prayer five times a day. It is welcoming to me, a music lover. Although, as I have been told in a very serious tone, "it is not a song, but the call to prayer." Either way, there is something about the tone of the voices singing with perfect clarity that I so enjoy. That is, unless it is the call just around sunset.
Why, you may wonder? Because as soon as my ears are filled with this heavenly sound, my nose and lungs are bombarded by toxins, as it is the habit of many Jordanians to set fire to their waste bins all throughout the land. The sunsets will never be as beautiful as I have experienced throughout my life living in Southern California. No, these sunsets are cloudy with a black smoke-filled haze.
After analyzing the nightly smoke and pondering this subject for almost a year now, I really feel that the citizens mean no harm. I am sure this is something of a ritual started thousands of years ago in order to keep the land and area around their home free of trash. Much of the smoke I see is actually brush and weeds being burned along the sides of the roads. It makes sense, as there is no fire danger here since the underlying surface is made of rock, unlike California...where wild fires run ramped and endanger the lives of people and wildlife, burning down forests and wooden homes every year. In Jordan, the houses are constructed of cement, concrete and stone.
However, this setting fire to the waste bins habit really needs to be addressed, hence me writing about it now. You see, there is no organized recycling program in place here. I have been told by a few they do recycle, but that it happens at the landfill site, where various individuals will go through and pull out the plastic, aluminium etc. I have personally never witnessed this, and hope it is true. What I do know, is that the waste bins that are being burned nightly are filled with recyclable trash...with a VERY high percent being PLASTIC!! Not only plastic which most Americans and Europeans know is full of chemical toxins, but also fluorescent bulbs, batteries and other mercury containing waste which are EXTREMELY DANGEROUS, especially when burned, to every living thing on Earth!
So the question and major issue on my mind every night is, what can I do to stop this? How can I help? I have already explained to my family (100+ members) that littering is something they can put and end to. I know this is a bit off the subject, but really it's all connected, for it is a consciousness, a way of thinking, a way of life. I have personally picked up the mountains of trash littered throughout my father-in-laws backyard, one of the few backyards in the village. Children from around the neighborhood often go there to play as the yard has olive trees and some grass, unlike most of the inner village areas.
It was appalling and heartbreaking to see the kids playing among Pepsi plastic liters, plastic bags, chip and candy bar wrappers, broken Coke bottles, rice bags, diapers, old shoes, etc....basically TRASH. After I picked up the yard (and asked for assistance of which everyone obliged). I asked, "Now can't you see the difference?" They all agreed and said, "Shukran, shukran, Auntie Atheena." However, the next week when I returned it looked the same as before we cleaned it. I spent a good six months living in the inner village, catching the children and adults throwing their liter on the ground. My husband put up two very large trash cans; one near the front of the house entry and one in the garden. When we were around patrolling, most of the trash made it in the bins, however once we moved, the trash cans themselves were actually destroyed.
As I said before, living a liter-free life and taking care of your environment is a consciousness. The question is how can I spread this consciousness and actually get the support of the government and local authorities to actually do something about it? And an even bigger question, is how can I get the people to care? I don't know. I have many ideas for programs and lessons of which can be taught in the schools, as this is where the real change can happen. I have written many letters of which got no reply. I have posted on American-based blog sites asking for volunteers to help me do something about this. Everyone writes back how bold I am to take on such a large task and all wish me "good luck." So far, my luck has not been good and I realize it is going to more than me to make a change. In the meantime,when the sun is setting and the prayer call begins, I close my windows and pray for the day I can sit on my roof and take in both the sunset and the beautiful voice without becoming ill.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Being An American Might Just Get You Killed!!! LOL
Ok, so now that I got your attention, no I am not in danger...why?
Because I have the Internet..THANK GOD!!! Let me explain!
Last night my niece called me up to tell me her my sister-law were on their way to my house because they had to ask me a very important question. Of course I panicked, as I was in the middle of something and was not really in the mood for house guests. This requires a lot of service, soda, tea, coffee, fruit, of which I only had tea. So I explained 10 times before she finally got the message. I told her that I would come to her. We hung up and I got ready to go out.
I wished she would have told me that she was with about 40 other family members as I was not prepared. You see, Eid was a few days ago which is the Arabic Christmas. I will write another story about this, but basically you give the kids candy and money. I had no idea that I would be seeing the sisters' side of the family and all their children at this time. (They had not showed up for the first day of Christmas, yet another story), so I never got to pass out the goods to those children. Never-the-less, I was quite embarrassed to have come empty handed as all the kids gathered around me, I am sure ready to receive!! I just sucked it up. Might I add, Jordanians are pretty terrible about communicating..which is VERY FRUSTRATING!!!
So, after kissing and greeting 40+ people I sat down on the casaba-style couch and my three English speaking nieces ranging in age fro 16-21 years old came over and sat by me. They explained that another nieces husband's late great grandmother owned land in Tiberias, Israel. I had worked in Tiberias for a summer back in 1991 when I was traveling after a semester at the University of London. So, apparently they feel that I have ties there.
The propostion was that I travel to Israel with land documents in hand and get money from the new owner who has built on this land that is his great grandmothers. They explained he would pay for all my expenses, and then asked when I could leave. "Whoa!!" I said, "well, I will have to think about this."
I started asking questions. "Why me?" They said, "Because you are an American, you can do this. My husband cannot enter Israel as they will not give him a visa."
Ok. Hmm, taking a minute to digest..."Where is this land exactly?" I asked. They explained it was in a Palestinian village. I explained I had reservations, as just two years ago the Israeli Military had bombed these villages for weeks. I know as I watched it on television. I was very saddened at this as our then, President Bush just sat back and allowed it to happen. I explained this to them. They replied, "But you are an American, the Jewish love you!"
I replied, "Well, maybe the Jewish love Americans, but I am certain the Palestinians in this region do not!! Are you trying to have me killed?" They laughed.
"Yeah, ha ha," I thought to myself. I responded, "You realize that this is the exact thing that the Palenstians and the Israeli's are fighting about don't you? LAND!!! What makes you think I am going to walk onto a property and hand the Jewish owner a land doc dated pre-war 1948 and that he will hand over the land or give me money for this land?"
They responded, "But it is his great grandmother's land and he can prove it!" I was a bit dismayed that they thought this was so easy. Did they not relate to the HUGE fight going on for decades about this? I figured there must be some sort of war law passed giving the Israeli's rights to this land. I told them I would have to do some research on the Internet. They could not understand why. So finally I explained I must first speak to my embassy before committing. They really expected me to say ok and leave the next day!
When I returned home I did some research, and yes, there was a war law passed. It seems that when the Zionists invaded Israel back in 1948 they started taking over villages, killing and burning the houses down. The owners of that land (the husband's great grandmother) fled for fear of being killed. Soon after everyone was cleared out they passed the Law of Abandonment which gave rights to the Israeli's to pick up land ownership on the merit that it had been abandoned (yeah right!!) However, this is the case. I figured, it is sad to say, but they officially had no rights to their land. And as I assumed, this is what the fighting is all about. The Israeli's will not give back the land despite the declaration to do so by both the Vatican and the United Nations.
So how in the world do they expect ME to get the land!!!
I was just about to shut down the computer and decided to click on the headline news for the day.
Right there in bold headlines it read,
"19 November 2010 Last updated at 15:26 GMT
Israeli air strikes hit two Gaza towns"
I clicked on it. As it turns out, when I was sitting with my family discussing this trip to Israel, at that exact time the Israeli's had launched two missiles into that region!
"Ok, so I've got my answer. "No, I cannot help you. Good luck, and I am sorry."
Because I have the Internet..THANK GOD!!! Let me explain!
Last night my niece called me up to tell me her my sister-law were on their way to my house because they had to ask me a very important question. Of course I panicked, as I was in the middle of something and was not really in the mood for house guests. This requires a lot of service, soda, tea, coffee, fruit, of which I only had tea. So I explained 10 times before she finally got the message. I told her that I would come to her. We hung up and I got ready to go out.
I wished she would have told me that she was with about 40 other family members as I was not prepared. You see, Eid was a few days ago which is the Arabic Christmas. I will write another story about this, but basically you give the kids candy and money. I had no idea that I would be seeing the sisters' side of the family and all their children at this time. (They had not showed up for the first day of Christmas, yet another story), so I never got to pass out the goods to those children. Never-the-less, I was quite embarrassed to have come empty handed as all the kids gathered around me, I am sure ready to receive!! I just sucked it up. Might I add, Jordanians are pretty terrible about communicating..which is VERY FRUSTRATING!!!
So, after kissing and greeting 40+ people I sat down on the casaba-style couch and my three English speaking nieces ranging in age fro 16-21 years old came over and sat by me. They explained that another nieces husband's late great grandmother owned land in Tiberias, Israel. I had worked in Tiberias for a summer back in 1991 when I was traveling after a semester at the University of London. So, apparently they feel that I have ties there.
The propostion was that I travel to Israel with land documents in hand and get money from the new owner who has built on this land that is his great grandmothers. They explained he would pay for all my expenses, and then asked when I could leave. "Whoa!!" I said, "well, I will have to think about this."
I started asking questions. "Why me?" They said, "Because you are an American, you can do this. My husband cannot enter Israel as they will not give him a visa."
Ok. Hmm, taking a minute to digest..."Where is this land exactly?" I asked. They explained it was in a Palestinian village. I explained I had reservations, as just two years ago the Israeli Military had bombed these villages for weeks. I know as I watched it on television. I was very saddened at this as our then, President Bush just sat back and allowed it to happen. I explained this to them. They replied, "But you are an American, the Jewish love you!"
I replied, "Well, maybe the Jewish love Americans, but I am certain the Palestinians in this region do not!! Are you trying to have me killed?" They laughed.
"Yeah, ha ha," I thought to myself. I responded, "You realize that this is the exact thing that the Palenstians and the Israeli's are fighting about don't you? LAND!!! What makes you think I am going to walk onto a property and hand the Jewish owner a land doc dated pre-war 1948 and that he will hand over the land or give me money for this land?"
They responded, "But it is his great grandmother's land and he can prove it!" I was a bit dismayed that they thought this was so easy. Did they not relate to the HUGE fight going on for decades about this? I figured there must be some sort of war law passed giving the Israeli's rights to this land. I told them I would have to do some research on the Internet. They could not understand why. So finally I explained I must first speak to my embassy before committing. They really expected me to say ok and leave the next day!
When I returned home I did some research, and yes, there was a war law passed. It seems that when the Zionists invaded Israel back in 1948 they started taking over villages, killing and burning the houses down. The owners of that land (the husband's great grandmother) fled for fear of being killed. Soon after everyone was cleared out they passed the Law of Abandonment which gave rights to the Israeli's to pick up land ownership on the merit that it had been abandoned (yeah right!!) However, this is the case. I figured, it is sad to say, but they officially had no rights to their land. And as I assumed, this is what the fighting is all about. The Israeli's will not give back the land despite the declaration to do so by both the Vatican and the United Nations.
So how in the world do they expect ME to get the land!!!
I was just about to shut down the computer and decided to click on the headline news for the day.
Right there in bold headlines it read,
"19 November 2010 Last updated at 15:26 GMT
Israeli air strikes hit two Gaza towns"
 |
| Photo courtosy of BBC News |
"Ok, so I've got my answer. "No, I cannot help you. Good luck, and I am sorry."
Being American Opens the Door for Helping
I was a little apprehensive to return to Jordan after thirteen years. Since I had been gone, Bush had declared war on Iraq. I will not go into my views about that at this time, but let the record stand I am for PEACE!! I felt awful about what the U.S. had done and was sure that all the people would hate me for being an American. I was prepared to apologize to everyone I met and explain that there are MANY Americans opposed to the war.
However, to my pleasant surprise not one person mentioned it. In fact, I was always the one who brought it up, and no one responded in hatred. Actually it was quite the opposite. Everyone said they understood that it was the government and not really the people. They went on to say, and this was EVERYONE I spoke with how much they LOVED America and wanted to move there one day. It seems that the fact that we are free and have contributed so much to the world through technology; computers, space program, music, Hollywood, medicine, and charities, that these all outweighed the war-factor. The all think of Americans as very smart, very creative and pretty much as the best at what we do including the right to travel freely around the world. It's a bit sugar-coated, as everyone knows the U.S. has their share of issues, but it appears as if no one hears of them. Many were very excited about President Obama, and so and I did not want to burst their bubble and stopped apologizing.
One such example of how they think Americans can do anything is when someone from my village (of course a cousin, but not really a close one), approached me as they had heard there was an American in the village. It was a father of a young boy aged seven years old who had been diagnosed with a brain tumor about four months prior to our meeting. He brought me his medical records and asked if I could help him. I was wondering what in the world could I do? I am not a doctor nor a diplomat. They handed me a business card from a woman in charge of LDS Charities, also from the U.S. They asked if I would contact her about getting him a special bed that moved and a wheelchair. And so, I took the business card and started composing a letter.
A few days later, family members came running into my room telling me that Americans were in the village at one of the sister's place of employment. They wanted me to go and meet them. Of course, I accepted and we drove off to the next village.
This sister works with other women in a building that was set up buy USAID for the local women to sew in. When I arrived, dozens of young children encircled me shouting, "Amerikeah, Amerikeah!!". They grabbed my hand whisked me upstairs to met the other Americans.
It was this time I met Danna (pronounced Donna) and her husband Steve, two volunteers from the LDS church out of Provo, Utah. Wow!!! This was sure a coincidence as I was born and raised in my early years in Salt Lake City, Utah. The entire Romney side of my family is heavily involved in the Mormon Church. So we hit it off instantly. She was very excited as this was the last day of their project. It turns out they were working with USAID to donate all the sewing machines and supplies for the women to sew on. On this particular project, they employed the women (my sister-in-law) to sew baby clothes for a special care package they put together and then donated to pregnant women in the poorer villages. Today they were packing them all up and would deliver them the next day. How cool!!! It always warms my heart to meet such loving people that they take the time time to travel to far-off lands and give everything they can to enrich the lives of the local citizens.
And so, the next day, as she said, (I love how prompt Americans are!!) they met my husband in the Safeway parking lot (our only landmark) and gave the little boy his new wheel chair. He had gotten so sick that he could not keep his balance and his father would have to carry him from the house, to the bus stop and then to the doctor's, of which they saw frequently in the city. His father was so happy he had tears in his eyes.
However, to my pleasant surprise not one person mentioned it. In fact, I was always the one who brought it up, and no one responded in hatred. Actually it was quite the opposite. Everyone said they understood that it was the government and not really the people. They went on to say, and this was EVERYONE I spoke with how much they LOVED America and wanted to move there one day. It seems that the fact that we are free and have contributed so much to the world through technology; computers, space program, music, Hollywood, medicine, and charities, that these all outweighed the war-factor. The all think of Americans as very smart, very creative and pretty much as the best at what we do including the right to travel freely around the world. It's a bit sugar-coated, as everyone knows the U.S. has their share of issues, but it appears as if no one hears of them. Many were very excited about President Obama, and so and I did not want to burst their bubble and stopped apologizing.
One such example of how they think Americans can do anything is when someone from my village (of course a cousin, but not really a close one), approached me as they had heard there was an American in the village. It was a father of a young boy aged seven years old who had been diagnosed with a brain tumor about four months prior to our meeting. He brought me his medical records and asked if I could help him. I was wondering what in the world could I do? I am not a doctor nor a diplomat. They handed me a business card from a woman in charge of LDS Charities, also from the U.S. They asked if I would contact her about getting him a special bed that moved and a wheelchair. And so, I took the business card and started composing a letter.
A few days later, family members came running into my room telling me that Americans were in the village at one of the sister's place of employment. They wanted me to go and meet them. Of course, I accepted and we drove off to the next village.
This sister works with other women in a building that was set up buy USAID for the local women to sew in. When I arrived, dozens of young children encircled me shouting, "Amerikeah, Amerikeah!!". They grabbed my hand whisked me upstairs to met the other Americans.
It was this time I met Danna (pronounced Donna) and her husband Steve, two volunteers from the LDS church out of Provo, Utah. Wow!!! This was sure a coincidence as I was born and raised in my early years in Salt Lake City, Utah. The entire Romney side of my family is heavily involved in the Mormon Church. So we hit it off instantly. She was very excited as this was the last day of their project. It turns out they were working with USAID to donate all the sewing machines and supplies for the women to sew on. On this particular project, they employed the women (my sister-in-law) to sew baby clothes for a special care package they put together and then donated to pregnant women in the poorer villages. Today they were packing them all up and would deliver them the next day. How cool!!! It always warms my heart to meet such loving people that they take the time time to travel to far-off lands and give everything they can to enrich the lives of the local citizens.
As it turns out LDS Charities was also responsible for donating the water filtration system located in my village!! When I heard this suddenly a light went on in my head about the little boy with a brain tumor. I asked if they had any access to wheelchairs. And of course, they did!! In fact, they had two left; one for an adult and one for a child! She said she could meet me the next day and give it to me to give to his family.
 |
| Abdullah & his father w/ Steve and my husband |
And so, the next day, as she said, (I love how prompt Americans are!!) they met my husband in the Safeway parking lot (our only landmark) and gave the little boy his new wheel chair. He had gotten so sick that he could not keep his balance and his father would have to carry him from the house, to the bus stop and then to the doctor's, of which they saw frequently in the city. His father was so happy he had tears in his eyes.  |
| Abu Abdullah & Abdullah |
A few weeks later I was going through some papers and the business card the family had given me fell out. It read Steve and Danna Colson, LDS Charities, it was the same lady, however I didn't relate at the time because she pronounced her name Donna. I was so grateful that the synchronities in life allowed me to help this sweet child and his family. I send out a big thank you to Danna and her amazing husband Steve for all the wonderful work they are doing in Jordan. You are truly an inspiration.
And I am sorry to say that little Abdullah passed away about six months later. My heart goes out to his family as I know this was most likely the most difficult thing to experience in their lives. I wished that I could have somehow helped more.
Might I also add that I am very proud to be an American. Sometimes when I find myself back in the States for too long, I start to notice the things that upset me in our system, as there are many thing I still feel are unfair. However, the citizens of America are so kind really. It is almost impossible to realize this until you have been submerged in other lands. I am not saying we are the best by any means, but we are very generous, kind and compassionate and our presence around the world with all of our charities is definitely helping to balance the violence we have and still are contributing to.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Habitat For Humanity...IN MY VILLAGE!!
The door burst open and in ran my two little boys and their Uncle Ali. They greeted me in the kitchen enthusiastically telling me that there were Americans building a house next ours. (We started building a house in the village four years ago, and have been working on it steadily for the past year since we moved here.)
"Wow!!" I exclaimed, "isn't that cool!"
A couple of days later I decided to venture out and meet our new neighbors. As we turned the opposite direction from our house, I began to wonder, "Where are we going?" I assumed we had another stop first, often things get a bit lost in translation as I am learning Arabic and my brother-in-law is learning English. No problem, I thought as we continued into the center of the village. Ali pulled over and parked the truck. I asked, "Where are we?" He replied, "We come to see the Americans!"
Ok, so clearly I got the story wrong, I guess I will not be having American neighbors, darn!
I got out of the truck and we walked into a yard and up some steps under construction, past Jordanian workers and up to the top of the second story.
We were greeted by an elderly woman, I extended my hand and introduced myself. She seemed shocked that I spoke English. I had dressed up in my hijab since I would be out in public, perhaps I looked Arabic to her.
She was so excited to hear I spoke English and welcomed me as she led me around the corner of the top floor. To my surprise I was greeted by another American older woman, and another, and another. I looked out across the halfway built house and saw about a dozen senior ladies dressed up in work clothes;
One lady, named Kaye, asked as she shoveled cement into a bucket, "Where are you from, hopefully not California as we already have too many Californians here!" I replied, "Well, yes, actually I am from California!" She continued, " However, I'm from the East Coast, Vermont."
"Yes, I know", she replied. "Isn't it ridiculous? I begged and pleaded with the council and they actually are giving us a week, which is very special"
"A WEEK!!" I exclaimed, "that still isn't long enough!" Again, she agreed, but that is just the way it is done.
I don't understand who will finish the house. I plan to ask some questions and find out who is in charge of the completion. Hopefully there is a plan, if not, I will have to find a way to get it completed. After seeing these ladies and gentlemen in their 60's and 70's lay brick, I am confident we can gather someone to help, if not I'll just have to do it myself! (And of course, if I do this, there will be a group of my family rushing in to help because in this culture, women do not work outside!)
So thank you, Habitat Ladies & Gentlemen for showing the people in this village,
"Wow!!" I exclaimed, "isn't that cool!"
A couple of days later I decided to venture out and meet our new neighbors. As we turned the opposite direction from our house, I began to wonder, "Where are we going?" I assumed we had another stop first, often things get a bit lost in translation as I am learning Arabic and my brother-in-law is learning English. No problem, I thought as we continued into the center of the village. Ali pulled over and parked the truck. I asked, "Where are we?" He replied, "We come to see the Americans!"
Ok, so clearly I got the story wrong, I guess I will not be having American neighbors, darn!
I got out of the truck and we walked into a yard and up some steps under construction, past Jordanian workers and up to the top of the second story.
We were greeted by an elderly woman, I extended my hand and introduced myself. She seemed shocked that I spoke English. I had dressed up in my hijab since I would be out in public, perhaps I looked Arabic to her.
She was so excited to hear I spoke English and welcomed me as she led me around the corner of the top floor. To my surprise I was greeted by another American older woman, and another, and another. I looked out across the halfway built house and saw about a dozen senior ladies dressed up in work clothes;
jeans, t- shirts and gloves, all building the house! I just couldn't believe my eyes!
One lady, named Kaye, asked as she shoveled cement into a bucket, "Where are you from, hopefully not California as we already have too many Californians here!" I replied, "Well, yes, actually I am from California!" She continued, " However, I'm from the East Coast, Vermont." "Typical Americans", I thought to myself, "always wanting to lend a helping hand." 
I asked, "How in the world did you all get here, in this village, in Taybeh?" The leader explained they were all from Habitat, (the short for Habitat for Humanity). Each person had made a $500 contribution towards the materials of the house and paid for their own airfare and accommodations while in Jordan. And on top of that, they were physically building the house. The houses in Jordan are made on cinder block and cement. These ladies (and two other men and his son), were actually doing it all; mixing the cement, shoveling it, slapping the mortar down and laying on the blocks!! I was in awe!
The leader explained that Habitat usually only gives them three days to complete the house. I gasped! "That's impossible!! How are you going to build a house in three days? We've been building ours for a year and it still isn't finished. Who do they think you are?" 
I asked, "How in the world did you all get here, in this village, in Taybeh?" The leader explained they were all from Habitat, (the short for Habitat for Humanity). Each person had made a $500 contribution towards the materials of the house and paid for their own airfare and accommodations while in Jordan. And on top of that, they were physically building the house. The houses in Jordan are made on cinder block and cement. These ladies (and two other men and his son), were actually doing it all; mixing the cement, shoveling it, slapping the mortar down and laying on the blocks!! I was in awe!  |
| The Leader and Me |
"Yes, I know", she replied. "Isn't it ridiculous? I begged and pleaded with the council and they actually are giving us a week, which is very special"
"A WEEK!!" I exclaimed, "that still isn't long enough!" Again, she agreed, but that is just the way it is done.
I don't understand who will finish the house. I plan to ask some questions and find out who is in charge of the completion. Hopefully there is a plan, if not, I will have to find a way to get it completed. After seeing these ladies and gentlemen in their 60's and 70's lay brick, I am confident we can gather someone to help, if not I'll just have to do it myself! (And of course, if I do this, there will be a group of my family rushing in to help because in this culture, women do not work outside!)
  |
| I think this is a family, (on right) as the father introduced himself as Abu Craig (father of Craig) |
women are strong even in their old age.
You are truly amazing!!
Women Sticking Together
One of the positive observations I have made here in Jordan is the way women stick together when it comes to housework. It is quite different from what I experienced growing up, where basically my mother was in charge of cooking dinner and doing the dishes. She often conplained about how many hours this took each night and how no one appreciated her. She would often remark to me, "Just wait until you have a family, and you will understand what I mean!! I hope you have three boys!"
Well, I guess God heard her words and now I am married and have two sons. I finally understand what she was saying all those years. Yes, cooking dinner every night alone, and then doing the dishes is a long task lasting up to four hours. However, luckily for me, I moved to Jordan and am able to experience a different way of doing things!! It's called co-operation!
Here, the women help each other. Dinner is prepared early, usually mid-day. Sisters and mothers sit around and talk as they roll dowali (stuffed grape leaves); a task that depending on family size can take up to 3-4 hours. However, they use this opportunity to talk and enjoy one another. I haven't ever experienced one of them complaining that this is something they must do, and so, it is a pleasant experience.
After the food is prepared, dishes are done and food is ready for serving whenever the family is hungry. This is also a great practice to get into as they can offer food to any visitor that might show up on an empty stomach. Jordanians are the greatest hosts and love to serve guests soda, tea and coffee. If there is food, they usually will not take "no thank you," for an answer and you will leave their home feeling very welcomed and usually quite full.
After dinner is served to the family, all the women clear the dishes and everyone has a role in getting it all cleaned up. What took my my mom an hour plus to clean up takes them less than 20 minutes.
Women helping each other also applies outside of their homes. I threw a birthday party for a niece and nephew and invited about four families to attend. After the food was served, what I experienced absolutely amazed me. It was like someone pushed a button, and the "Merry Maids" arrived. EVERY woman jumped up and grabbed a dish, glass, etc and wisked it off to the kitchen, where two other older nieces rushed to the sink as the rest of the women fed them dishes.
I was in awe, saying "shukran, shukran!!" "No problem," they said as another grabbed a broom and started sweeping up. I turned around and another asked for a towel. I handed her a rather large towel, not knowing what it was for. A few minutes later, I walked into the dining area and saw two women with my bathroom squeegy on a stick and the large towel underneath, mopping the floor. The towel was so big it took two of them to manipulate!! I laughed at the sight, and ran to get something smaller! In about half an hour my entire house was clean and as if the party was just about to start. WOW!!! I love these ladies!
This was really a great experience for me to see how the women really support each other and pitch in. It makes much more sense then simply complaining over and over again about doing it all by yourself. I am adopting this practice, however, only one dilema...God gave me two sons, so for now I am still alone in the kitchen. Maybe I need to have another baby :)
Well, I guess God heard her words and now I am married and have two sons. I finally understand what she was saying all those years. Yes, cooking dinner every night alone, and then doing the dishes is a long task lasting up to four hours. However, luckily for me, I moved to Jordan and am able to experience a different way of doing things!! It's called co-operation!
Here, the women help each other. Dinner is prepared early, usually mid-day. Sisters and mothers sit around and talk as they roll dowali (stuffed grape leaves); a task that depending on family size can take up to 3-4 hours. However, they use this opportunity to talk and enjoy one another. I haven't ever experienced one of them complaining that this is something they must do, and so, it is a pleasant experience.
After the food is prepared, dishes are done and food is ready for serving whenever the family is hungry. This is also a great practice to get into as they can offer food to any visitor that might show up on an empty stomach. Jordanians are the greatest hosts and love to serve guests soda, tea and coffee. If there is food, they usually will not take "no thank you," for an answer and you will leave their home feeling very welcomed and usually quite full.
After dinner is served to the family, all the women clear the dishes and everyone has a role in getting it all cleaned up. What took my my mom an hour plus to clean up takes them less than 20 minutes.
Women helping each other also applies outside of their homes. I threw a birthday party for a niece and nephew and invited about four families to attend. After the food was served, what I experienced absolutely amazed me. It was like someone pushed a button, and the "Merry Maids" arrived. EVERY woman jumped up and grabbed a dish, glass, etc and wisked it off to the kitchen, where two other older nieces rushed to the sink as the rest of the women fed them dishes.
I was in awe, saying "shukran, shukran!!" "No problem," they said as another grabbed a broom and started sweeping up. I turned around and another asked for a towel. I handed her a rather large towel, not knowing what it was for. A few minutes later, I walked into the dining area and saw two women with my bathroom squeegy on a stick and the large towel underneath, mopping the floor. The towel was so big it took two of them to manipulate!! I laughed at the sight, and ran to get something smaller! In about half an hour my entire house was clean and as if the party was just about to start. WOW!!! I love these ladies!
This was really a great experience for me to see how the women really support each other and pitch in. It makes much more sense then simply complaining over and over again about doing it all by yourself. I am adopting this practice, however, only one dilema...God gave me two sons, so for now I am still alone in the kitchen. Maybe I need to have another baby :)
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
The Hijab...(Arabic Head Scarf)...Am I...haram?
I am a person who loves to wear hats. So, when I first visited the Middle East back in 1997, I wore all my different hats; baseball caps, straw hats, beanie caps, fancy women's hats, men's hats, you name it I had it from all decades of the fashion eras!! I thought wearing these was appropreiate as my "head" was covered. When I returned in 2010 my style included not only wearing hats, but scarves...I love them, and so I thought I'd fit in perfectly as I could wear a scarf everyday without people thinking I had cancer.
Up until now, I wear my scarves tied in a variety of ways, but no matter what look I finally come up with I am told I wear my scarf like an old woman or a Bedouin (indiginous people of the land). I am fine with this, as I am very independent by nature and usually known for my originality.
However, after living in the village for a little over a year, I have come to become a bit self-conscious. I noticed I don't cover up as much as the other women. I usually cover my neckline with a cute necklace, as I love jewlery as well...however, I was just recently informed this does not fly with the rules of Islam. Apparently, the look is not for fashion, as I had worn it, but to cover all areas that might appear "sexy" to a man. So, I guess the neck, ears, chest and hair are all too sexy for a man to see. Go figure.
This has really got me confused. Everytime I get ready to go out in the village, I try to find a new style and way to wrap my hijab. However, each time I end up with bangs and curls hanging out of the scarf. I have a high forhead and just don't feel I look my best with my face sticking out and material wrapped around my head. And so, try as I might to tuck it in, I always leave with my bangs pulled off to the front side a bit.
I was raised in America, and have the thinking that it is important to feel good about yourself, as this gives you confidence which leads to happiness and success. I have a group of friends back home and we all call each other "Goddess"'..meaning celebrating and acknowledging being the beautiful woman that you are, and expressing yourself as a woman. However here, it seems that if you are to express yourself as a woman, then it is haram. (Bad, and you will not enter heaven.)
Although I have been questioning all of this, I have chosen to be confident and wear my hijab the way I feel comfortable with. But I had a rather enlightening experience last night as I sat around for hours with four of my favorite female relatives. They were talking about how women who wear their hair up high on the back of their head, yet still fully cover everything required are actually "haram." I asked why and they said because you are showing the man that you have beautiful hair (although it is completely covered!!) and that if you do this the Qur'an says you will not eneter the kingdom of heaven. I asked if they all believed this to be true, as I laughed at how ridiculous this sounded, but they all nodded and agreed. WOW!!
I guess it is a sin to appear attractive. I wanted to enquire further. "What about wearing make-up, and dressing in fashionable clothing, isn't that haram as well, with this philosphy?" However, I remained silent, as I knew that this conversation would not end well, as clearly, I am haram!
So, here I am in Jordan. I assume all the people, including my family, feel I am not going to heaven, because I have bangs and wear necklaces...crazy!!
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